Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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