we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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