Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
