mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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