if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
your like the ambassador to my penis.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
