Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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