I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
