This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wish there were birth control emojis
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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