I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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