look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
