DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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