I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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