Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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