He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
