PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just tell him i said nine months
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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