Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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