remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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