NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
