Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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