I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
