i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I love you. Go after that dick
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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