Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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