Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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