when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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