we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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