It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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