what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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