chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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