it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
