like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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