dude i'm inner monologue high
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
