Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
