i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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