Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
