I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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