I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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