I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
