There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
