If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
