p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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