she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
