he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
