im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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