She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
