no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
