whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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