We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
