he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
