I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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