I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
