my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
