I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
