Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize