omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
