I molested 6 butterflies tonight
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
