At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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