first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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